My approach to psychotherapy draws from relational-psychodynamic and mindfulness perspectives. I trust that we develop particular ways of thinking and feeling in response to significant events in our past. For example, we can develop negative beliefs about ourselves if our initial caregivers were emotionally unavailable. This self-view can color the lens through which we look at the world. It can affect our ability to have satisfying relationships, to construct meaningful work lives, and to find balance in our emotional lives. These ways of relating also heighten our vulnerability to depression and anxiety.
Although our self-defeating ways of thinking and feeling can limit our lives, I trust that we acquire them to help us survive. Instead of trying to get rid of them, I help you understand how these patterns have helped you as well as how they have limited you. This involves acceptance, understanding, bringing together as a whole the parts which you have tended to deny for fear of repercussion and the need for survival.
I trust that change cannot come about merely through insight or reframing of thought but that it emerges through a willingness to approach and stay with what hurts us emotionally. New ways of being can emerge from this struggle. These new ways are not just understood intellectually but experienced and integrated as part of our emotional way of being.
Safety
Safety in the therapy relationship is critical if we are to undertake an in-depth exploration of our experience. Since everyone’s need for safety is unique, I work with you in creating the conditions which you will need to move inwards. These can include a non-directive attentiveness on my part, a willingness to understand you and join you in your emotional struggles, an ability to be open about my own experience, and a genuine regard for you as a person. A strong frame is thus created in which you feel safe to explore and try out new ways of being.
Using The Relationship
Just as our significant patterns are developed in relationships, so to can they be changed through relationship. Rather than being a passive observer, I aim to be an active yet non-oppressive participant in your exploration. During our sessions, I will listen deeply to you as well as myself and the dynamics that arise between us. I will talk how I experience our interactions with the intention of helping us explore patterns in how you relate to self and others. Beliefs such as a negative self-view will inevitably emerge in your interactions with me, in a manner similar to how they manifest in your other relationships. Rather than react or suppress, I will draw your attention to these dynamics with the hope of helping you approach and understand these patterns.
> Read frequently asked questions on individual therapy
Tel: 416.996.3195. Click for address or contact me. Serving the communities of Markham, Stouffville, Unionville, North York, Thornhill, Richmond hill, Scarborough, Maple, Langstaff, Buttonville, Toronto and the GTA, Greater Toronto Area.
